In relationships, seek to love yourself, and all else will follow

It has been quite a while in your time since we have spoken with you. Much has transpired on your world as well as on ours. There is no time, there is no place, but these conventions help us communicate in a way that we can all understand.

We wish to speak to you today about conventions and by this we mean rules and traditions and ways of taking action, in doing things. For if you look on them, they are also a shorthand way of communicating with others. If someone sees you brushing your teeth, they know what you are doing. If someone sees you holding open a door for an elderly person, they know what you are doing. A bond is established with no words spoken. There are conventional ways to dress, to eat, to live, to sleep, to have sex, to work, to speak, to do almost anything you can think of.

So, what happens when these conventions are not shared? The young people who dress in the Goth style understand each other. Their appearance is comforting. If you do not share the style it shuts you out and shuts them in with those they feel share their feelings and lifestyle. We use this example because we wish to speak to you of your families and this will give you the idea we are seeking. If your brother does not have the same lifestyle as you, if he speaks in a way that disparages your beliefs, it may not be personal. It may just be what he believes. Or perhaps, to him, you are the Goth lifestyle that he does not understand and he responds to this feeling of being shut out.

In your physical bodies, you make choices every day about your appearance and how you act. There is no way, nor would you want to be everything to everybody. And you do not need to be. For those who are close to you though, we would say that in being the loving person you are in your very nature, you will truly not give offense. The answer is in loving yourself, warts and all as the saying goes.

There is no need for pain in relationships, only the need to love yourself, and from that all else will flow. Your relationship is with yourself. Seek within yourself for the answer and trust your heart.